Today I was reminded that I hadn’t posted in a while. I remember thinking, “someone really keeps track of that”? 🤷🏾♀️ Then I questioned why I hadn’t posted lately. Well, honestly, I hadn’t even thought about it. I recalled at the beginning of the year I said that anytime I do not operate in my purpose, the enemy is pleased. Well, he has probably been pleased. The businessness of day to day living has had me distracted and left me needing clarity and encouragement.
Demands of my job and the kids coupled with the weight I carry from others have been literally pulling me down. I’ve felt heavy and my body hurts. At times I don’t understand people and their decisions and it consumes me when they don’t stand bold as Christian leaders. I’ve been caught up Thursday night was the perfect storm.
I allowed the heaviness and noise of the world to cause me to feel overwhelmed. It caused me to question everything including my parenting. Was I being a good mother by working late leaving my 15 year old at home alone? That’s the way it sounded on the other end of my phone as someone ranted about my son “being up to something”. You can talk crazy about me all day but when someone does it about my children especially when it is not based off facts, Houston, we have a problem.
It wasn’t until I slowed down, focused on who I am and who my children are in Christ that I was able to calm down but it took a minute. I had people praying for and with us and I surely needed. I allowed someone to briefly convince me of a story that wasn’t true. I then knew that wasn’t true but every hurt place in me, yelled something must had happened. I allowed the person to get me frazzled and worked up. I then became fearful that my son was in harm’s way. It was an indescribable feeling that shut me down briefly. Let me pause and tell you that we must learn to silence the noise in our lives at all costs. We combat noise with focused truths.
Whether intentionally or unintentionally, this person sees the worst in people and on this night chose to tell a story that does not align with who my son is and I fed into it. First, questioning my son’s behavior then just questioning where he was and whether he was okay. I walked quickly out of the meeting with tears streaming down my face. I cried and talked to God as I drove home. 30 minutes seemed like 30 days. I received a call from a friend who told me my son’s phone was broken and that Bryson was in his room watching TV when he arrived. All was well. When I walked in and saw Bryson, I hugged him tightly for 15 seconds or so with tears flowing even harder. After crying and praying multiple times, I eventually rested well Thursday night. I remembered who I was, who my chchildren are and most importantly who God is. I praise God for calming my fears and for the hedge of protection placed around them/us daily.
I woke up filled with peace and reassurance of who God said I am and who He said my kids are. Yet like clockwork, I received a call that morning from the person desiring to keep it going and before the person could get started on any negative inferences, I quickly said, that is not who my son is so stop… then ended the call shortly thereafter. I was thankful I didn’t allow my emotions to take over. I was at peace and in control of my emotions. I was thankful to wake the kids up. Thankful to rush off to school and then to work.
That afternoon I received the following from my son’s teacher:
Hello Mrs. Bruce,
Bryson has been extremely well-behaved. You should be very proud of raising such a polite young man. I appreciate you reaching out to ask about his behavior, though. That’s probably one of the reasons he is so respectful at school!
I stand amazed at how quickly God moves. I asked and He answered. I read the email again and again. Smiled and gave God glory! 🙌🏾 It was a moment that assured me that I was doing well as a Mama and the kids are doing well also. My workload is great and there have been many things on my heart lately. We aren’t perfect. Never will be but I cannot ever allow the chaos of the world to create chaos in my mind, my heart or in my home. The enemy will use anyone to plant weeds of doubt and we must combat that with truth. I am the mother of 2 masterpieces who are being trained up right and entrusted to the Lord. There will be challenging moments at time but overall, my kids are good, respectful kids and I am a good mother. The world didn’t give me the joy that I have and I will not let the world take it away. I encourage you to do the same. Ask and God will give you answers.
May God’s peace and grace be with you as we keep pressing forward.
Bryson’s and Bria’s Mama